Well, this subject has been hanging around my "draft" files for quite awhile. It was a news item a few weeks back, and I started to write about it then. The lead I had was not too shabby: It was so obvious that the relationship was so wrong.
The news clip of the item features this guy who takes his girl to an NBA game and proposes to her during half-time. She says no and runs off the court. The national news jumped all over it.
Ok. Ok. It must have devastated him, I was thinking. But this nut was way off base. Obviously, his girlfriend didn't know what was coming -- it was devastating for her as well. After all, this happened at a highly publicized event. Then it hit the national TV news circuit. Even worse, now it's on YouTube.
And that's where I have a problem with this.
Because I like to know that what I'm writing about is valid, I do a little research. A search for "Proposal Gone Wrong" on YouTube will net 28 videos of varying situations and all of them focus on "she said no." When this got so many different hits, I realized this is likely one of the viral pranks where a couple pulls this off at various sporting events around the country. You know, the whole 5 minutes of fame phenom. It's possible that a few of these are even publicity stunts generated by publicists of some professional teams. I would hope it's not probable, but it is possible. It's also possible some rube really got rejected and humiliated on national TV.
Which was the original focus of "rules of engagement." Any person ready to ask another to marry needs to understand a few things. A proposal can't come out of the clear blue. No one wants to be sideswiped -- especially about lifelong love. So make sure some conversation about marriage, children, finances, faith, etc., has been covered. Also, a proposal should be a private moment unless extraordinary circumstances take precedence. And get some input on the ring you want the love of your life to wear the rest of her life.
But there is another aspect to the "rules of engagement." Publicists give public relations professionals a bad name. There is a huge difference. Publicity stunts are empty, showy events the main goal of which is to capture 20 seconds of fame on news clips. This is the new Hollywood game -- do whatever it takes to get in front of the TV camera. Bad publicity is better than no publicity.
On the other hand, public relations professionals work hard to create meaning that will develop relationships between a client and one or more targeted publics. The PR industry polices itself somewhat. In corporate America, public relations professionals must be prepared to prove their value to the bottom line. Most often, these professionals are facilitating the engagement of corporate executives in meaningful relationships in their communities. Mike Cascone, former board chairman of the multi-billion-dollar Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Florida, has made a difference in his local community and the state. He personally has built Habitat for Humanity homes, championed Boy Scouts and led a capital campaign to ensure that inner city children would be able to attend parochial schools at little or no cost. That's substantive. (And just for disclosure, I'm not affiliated with Blue Cross, but I do admire Cascone.)
So to a publicist for a sports team or other nest of celebrities who seeks to get any publicity, step back and think about engaging people in meaningful work. Change the rules. Create an event that not only has style but also has substance. You'll discover you can rewrite the rules of engagement and find satisfaction as well as gratification.
Ok. Ok. It must have devastated him, I was thinking. But this nut was way off base. Obviously, his girlfriend didn't know what was coming -- it was devastating for her as well. After all, this happened at a highly publicized event. Then it hit the national TV news circuit. Even worse, now it's on YouTube.
And that's where I have a problem with this.
Because I like to know that what I'm writing about is valid, I do a little research. A search for "Proposal Gone Wrong" on YouTube will net 28 videos of varying situations and all of them focus on "she said no." When this got so many different hits, I realized this is likely one of the viral pranks where a couple pulls this off at various sporting events around the country. You know, the whole 5 minutes of fame phenom. It's possible that a few of these are even publicity stunts generated by publicists of some professional teams. I would hope it's not probable, but it is possible. It's also possible some rube really got rejected and humiliated on national TV.
Which was the original focus of "rules of engagement." Any person ready to ask another to marry needs to understand a few things. A proposal can't come out of the clear blue. No one wants to be sideswiped -- especially about lifelong love. So make sure some conversation about marriage, children, finances, faith, etc., has been covered. Also, a proposal should be a private moment unless extraordinary circumstances take precedence. And get some input on the ring you want the love of your life to wear the rest of her life.
But there is another aspect to the "rules of engagement." Publicists give public relations professionals a bad name. There is a huge difference. Publicity stunts are empty, showy events the main goal of which is to capture 20 seconds of fame on news clips. This is the new Hollywood game -- do whatever it takes to get in front of the TV camera. Bad publicity is better than no publicity.
On the other hand, public relations professionals work hard to create meaning that will develop relationships between a client and one or more targeted publics. The PR industry polices itself somewhat. In corporate America, public relations professionals must be prepared to prove their value to the bottom line. Most often, these professionals are facilitating the engagement of corporate executives in meaningful relationships in their communities. Mike Cascone, former board chairman of the multi-billion-dollar Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Florida, has made a difference in his local community and the state. He personally has built Habitat for Humanity homes, championed Boy Scouts and led a capital campaign to ensure that inner city children would be able to attend parochial schools at little or no cost. That's substantive. (And just for disclosure, I'm not affiliated with Blue Cross, but I do admire Cascone.)
So to a publicist for a sports team or other nest of celebrities who seeks to get any publicity, step back and think about engaging people in meaningful work. Change the rules. Create an event that not only has style but also has substance. You'll discover you can rewrite the rules of engagement and find satisfaction as well as gratification.
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